Where You Want to Be, with Darienne Mobley

Episode 156

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Darienne Mobley is a personal coach, professional development trainer, motivational speaker and team building facilitator who brings a world of experience and wealth of wisdom to her clients. As an industry trailblazer, Darienne works with individuals, helping them embrace life and leadership. She also partners with organizations, leading them to greater long-term success by developing effective and dynamic teams, and giving them the tools to create a clear and impactful vision. As a passionate public speaker, Darienne is a true storyteller who connects with her audience by sharing authentic experiences and real-life solutions. Her presentations inspire, entertain, educate and elevate groups to new heights. Darienne offers keynotes, one-on-one coaching, workshops, group coaching, online programs and more. Over the past decade, Darienne has successfully collaborated with more than 100 organizations from around the country. She began her career in the tourism industry and has held the distinct honor of serving as the Director of Tourism for both Mississippi and Louisiana. Darienne taps into her specialized knowledge and vast experience to offer thoughtful guidance and leadership to current and future leaders in tourism and hospitality, as well as other industries. In this episode of Destination on the Left, I am joined by Darienne Mobley, Founder, and President of Darienne Inc. We discuss the journey of personal development through coaching and mentorship, and why it leads to sustainable happiness.

What You Will Learn in This Episode:

  • Darienne’s journey into coaching and professional speaking in the travel and tourism industry
  • Darienne’s personal experience with mentorship and coaching
  • What it means to achieve a “sense of flow,” and how to get there
  • How you know it is time to leave your job
  • The four pillars of Darienne’s process: clarity, intuition, priority, and truth
  • Why you need to prioritize personal rocks like health and spirituality
  • Leadership strategies for expanding roles in the travel and tourism industry
  • What you should be thinking about as you look for a personal development coach
  • How to use the Living Inside Out Virtual Program to start your own personal development journey at your own pace

Where You Want to Be

Darienne Mobley served as the Director of Tourism for both Mississippi and Louisiana, but her time in Louisiana was life-changing. There, Darienne held her position from 2004-2006, which means she was the Director of Tourism during Hurricane Katrina. There is no book on how to approach that scenario and the experience changed Darienne’s perspective on her career. At that time, she realized that she wasn’t interested in politics, finances, or budgets. Marketing was the place she wanted to be. Darienne’s affinity for marketing and personal development led to the creation of her business, which enabled her to stay passionately involved with the tourism industry in a different capacity. She did a lot of tourism consulting in the beginning and eventually managed the Louisiana Travel Promotion Association on contract for ten years. That experience resulted in the final evolution of her business—coaching, professional development, and motivational speaking was her new focus.

The Effects of Coaching and Mentorship

Darienne hired a coach and experienced the impact first-hand. Her coach asked a lot of difficult questions that she could not answer and it helped her realize that she was not putting herself first, a trap that many of us fall into as women leaders and entrepreneurs. Darienne was pushed to pursue her untapped potential in public speaking and instantly built momentum. She got to do what she was best at in an industry she loved. Darienne was already getting clients before her year-long personal development program was over, and she finally found a sense of flow. Darienne made that transition late in her career, but there is no deadline; there is no substitute for the feeling that you are doing what you’re supposed to be doing.

Getting it Done With Grace and Ease

The theme of her program is “getting it all done with grace and ease”. Most of us can handle getting it all done, but we often fail to do it with kindness, compassion, and peace of mind. Grace and ease represent the “flow” part, and it is important for you to realize that life shouldn’t always be hard. If you are doing what you love with grace and ease, even the difficult parts of your day will seem easier because you are approaching them with a different frame of mind. The travel and tourism industry is Darienne’s sweet spot because that is what she knows best. She helps her clients determine if they are in the best place, and if not, how they can expand to do more of what they enjoy. Her process is built around 4 main pillars: clarity, intuition, priority, and truth. Those pillars are measured against your personal rocks to help you achieve sustainable happiness and success. When you are clear about what’s important to you and what your values are, you carry yourself differently. Coaching and mentorship is the best way to identify them.


Nicole Mahoney: 00:22 Hello listeners, this is Nicole Mahoney, host of destination on the left. I am passionate about travel and tourism and love learning from the experiences of professionals in the industry and that is why I’m so excited to introduce today’s guest, Darian Mobley. Darien is a personal coach, professional development trainer, motivational speaker and team building facilitator who brings a world of experience and wealth of wisdom to her clients. As an industry trailblazer, Darian works with individuals helping them embrace life and leadership. She also partners with organizations leading them to greater longterm success by developing effective and dynamic teams and giving them the tools to create a clear and impactful vision. As a passionate public speaker, Darien is a true storyteller who connects with her audience by sharing authentic experiences and real life solutions. Her presentations inspire, entertain, educate, and elevate groups to new Heights. Darian offers keynotes, one on one coaching workshops, group coaching and online programs. And more over the past decades, she has successfully collaborated with more than 100 organizations from around the country.

Nicole Mahoney: 01:27 Darien began her career in the tourism industry and has held the distinct honor of serving as the director of tourism for both Mississippi and Louisiana. Darian taps into her specialized knowledge and vast experience to offer thoughtful guidance and leadership to current and future leaders in tourism and hospitality as well as other industries. Darion you have such an impressive background. I am so excited to have you on today. Thank you, Nicole. I’m very excited to be here. Yes, I love your podcast. I love what you’re doing, so thank you for having me. Oh, I, I, I appreciate that. Thank you. And, and I’m a huge fan of personal and professional development and uh, and so excited for, you know, what our conversation’s going to be today, but before we get started, uh, you know, the bio is a nice synopsis of, of your career, but it only tells part of the story.

Nicole Mahoney: 02:19 So I’m wondering if you could share a little bit more with our listeners about your journey and how you got to where you are today. Sure. I, um, I’ve been in the tourism industry for 35 years. That is my, has been my lifelong career. I started out in a hotel in 1982 in Natchez, Mississippi. I worked for a convention and visitors Bureau for five years and then I manage the Mississippi tourism association for about 11 years. Um, at that point, the governor of the state asked me to lead the tourism efforts of the state. It was the biggest job that I could have ever imagined for myself. Okay. I was 39 years. I was the youngest

Darienne Mobley: 03:00 tourism director of, at least in the state of Mississippi. So it was, it was a fabulous launch for me and I was in an industry I loved and I was working with people that I had known for years. I’d been in the industry about 15 years at that point. I did that for four years. And as you know, governors are reelected or not, mine was not. So my horse did not win the Derby and I was back to probably homeless within about three or four months and not sure if that governor was going to reappoint me or what would happen. And in the meantime I was asked to interview in the state of Louisiana to be the tourism director there. And it is rare too move from one state to the other. Um, it was a great opportunity. It was a bigger budget, bigger product.

Darienne Mobley: 03:46 So I was the tourism director for Louisiana from 2004 to 2006 which means that I was the chores and director through Katrina and I think that was life changing for everybody. Uh, and I won’t go into what all that entailed for our office cause there are no books to tell you how to do that. But it kind of I think caused me to rethink what am I doing here. I don’t really like the politics. I don’t really like just the human relation part in the financial part, the budgeting part. I’m really a marketing person at co, at my core, and I loved the personal development side of developing my team. Um, and so I started my own company and that was Darien eight and that’s taken several evolutions. And I know we’re going to get into [inaudible] the final evolution I think in a minute. But I did a lot of tourism consulting at first, uh, and I went on to manage the Louisiana travel promotion association for 10 years on contract as part of my business.

Darienne Mobley: 04:48 So that’s kind of what’s taken me to where I made a shift. Yeah, I think that’s so interesting. And um, I’m going to have to dig in a little bit more to know about, um, you know, managing the, the Louisiana tourism promotion association. Uh, mainly because, uh, in my, my other hat that I wear other than podcast host is I have a marketing company and we manage some associations as well. So I’ve, I’ve never met someone who is actually done that, but I am sure that there is some relation there. And, and I’m wondering if you can talk about, and maybe this is part of it, how you got there, but what drew you to transition, you know, out of that, uh, very focused tourism, um, promotion, yeah. Specific and into a career, you know, as a personal coach, trainer and speaker. Can you talk a little bit about how you made that jump? [inaudible]

Darienne Mobley: 05:48 it’s funny because I majored in speech and yet I didn’t use it other than some professional speaking from time to time. Um, and it from, for fun, I read personal development, spiritual development, how to be better at everything book. So the, in Barnes and noble, that was the aisle that I was drawn to. And so I guess I’d been in business about five years and I felt almost guilty for saying out loud, I don’t think this is it. I think there’s more. Um, I felt very blessed. I felt that from the outside you wouldn’t have said that was that I had, that I was successful, but there was a piece missing for me. And so I hired a coach. Uh, it’s been about five years now and I hired a coach just not even sure what that journey looked like, but I just felt like I needed some to kind of think about it.

Darienne Mobley: 06:41 She asked me some really tough questions, Nicole, that I could not answer. What are you good at? What lights you up? What do you want to be doing? Where do you wanna live? I just was doing the list I was just doing the next day. Um, I really had never sat down and said, what do I want? And I think for women, that’s a common issue of what do I want? Not what my husband wants or my children want or mine, you know, coworkers, what do I want? And so out of that, I remember whispering to this coach, I used to be a pretty good speaker and she said, really? Well, why don’t you do that? I said, Oh, it’s too scary. I wouldn’t, I probably wouldn’t be good at it. Now what would I speak about? Who would ha, you know, just all the things we put up about why we can’t do what it is we’re really best at.

Darienne Mobley: 07:30 Anyway, she pushed me to find a speaking gig. She said for furry, just find somebody that’ll hire you to speak for free and see how that goes. That started me on the speaking side and um, the coaching for me was so life-changing. I really do. I mean, it sounds too dramatic, but that’s really what happened for me is I changed everything. I changed what I do, what I want to do. I changed where I live physically. I wanted to be by water. I want to be connected as a small community and I wanted to use my gifts and talents. And so I enrolled in a coaching program. It was about a year long, master’s level, 20 hours a week, personal development journey. And before I even got through with my [inaudible] coursework, I was getting clients. And so I think it had always been a piece of me to offer advice or counsel or to be supportive.

Darienne Mobley: 08:26 So to be able to do what you’re best at. And I just turned 60 this year. So I mean I hope other people can do it sooner, but to get to doing what you’re best at I believe gives you a sense of flow. [inaudible] I’m just doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Yeah. I um, I just love that and I’m, I’m writing, I’m writing down and thinking as you’re, as you’re talking, but um, this whole idea of flow, I love that you use that word. Um, and I’m wondering if you can kind of talk a little more about that cause that means something to me. How, how I’m listening and interpreting. Yeah. What that means. But it might, you know, I want to make sure I list something else. Yeah. One of the programs that I do when I speak is called getting it all done with grace and ease and the getting it all done part.

Darienne Mobley: 09:15 Most of us have figured out we’re bar, we’re going nuts and we’ve got to lift and we’re doing everything on the list. I don’t think we’re doing it with grace and ease. And that’s the flow part. And for me that means with kindness and with compassion and with Oh a piece about you as you go through your day and at ease because I don’t think life is supposed to be so hard all the time. And I think when you’re doing what you’re best at, there is some ease. There’s some, Oh, I got this. Yeah, I know how to, I know how to do this part. Um, there are certainly pieces to my day that I don’t enjoy, but for the most part I have gotten to the pieces that I enjoy the most and those are what I’m best at. That’s the [inaudible] that’s the, you know, the Lake.

Darienne Mobley: 10:03 Yeah, absolutely. And so, um, I wanna back up just a little bit because you were talking about and just, you know, for our listeners sake that you might be really just hitting a chord with them. Right? So you really enjoyed what you were doing, right? I’m hearing that you look like joy being, you know, being a DMO, you enjoyed working, um, for the state. You were in business and you said, yeah, absolutely. But there was something you felt like there was something missing and something more to it. I think there’s this intuitive tug that we all have and it’s this quiet voice. It’s not screaming at you. Then you have to get quiet to hear it that says it’s time to leave this job. You know, you’ve done all you can here. You know, ma, I always said that my career goal was to leave before they wanted me to, you know, so that they’re not going, Oh my God, is Darien ever go leave?

Darienne Mobley: 10:57 You know, I think that there is a, a lifespan to every, every job and every career. And when you have given all you can deal with and they have moved as far as they can move with you, there’s just this intuitive tug of it’s time for me. And a lot of us are too scared to hear that because it sounds scary and you might not be ready to make a change. But I’ve always been willing to take that risk. Um, the fear of staying too long and not doing a good job was bigger than the fear of what was I going to do next. Yeah. And so, um, you know, [inaudible] I’m really interested in where this conversation is going because I know a lot of our listeners, a lot of the guests I’ve had on this podcast, you know, uh, will tell me how much they love their jobs.

Darienne Mobley: 11:49 There’s nothing better than working in travel and tourism. You’re, you’re helping people, their, you know, vacation dreams. It’s, you know, brings people happiness and, um, what better job than it then is there then too promote the place where you live and the place that you love so much and how, how awesome all of that is. Um, but at the same time, I know that, you know, many of the folks that I interview or that listeners that I talked to, okay, hold in so many different directions. They, you know, they’re managing different types of stakeholders who have different interests and, um, I’m just wondering how, you know, what advice you might have for them, how they might start to achieve some battles. I don’t think everybody needs to change careers. That’s certainly not the goal of my coaching practice. I work with a lot of tourism professionals and I think that is [inaudible] my sweet spot because I understand the business.

Darienne Mobley: 12:42 I understand the pull of a great marketing campaign that works and how exciting that is and taken risks [inaudible] for your community and giving back in the place that you live. Those are all big motivators. If it is the right place for you that I want to figure out how to, how for you to have the best life you can, best life and work they are, if it’s not the right place, which [inaudible] for me, I wanted to expand and do more of what I really loved, the pieces that I loved more. So now I’m supporting tourism professionals, um, which is the best of all places for me. I’m able to sit down with women and men and say, what’s working? What’s, what are the pieces that are not working? And let’s figure out why. Um, why is your day so crazy? How can we find some peace and calm in your day? [inaudible],

Darienne Mobley: 13:35 what are your, you know, what are your gifts and talents and are they best used where you are? So that’s kind of the process I guess. Yeah. So, um, do you have any, you know, words of wisdom or perspective that you can share with our listeners? Let’s say they don’t have a coach currently, but they might just be doing some self reflection at this point and thinking about, you know, how can I have the best life? And um, like you just said, what’s working, what’s not working? Yeah. What are some of the things that that might, um, that one might do it in the beginning? Well, when I work with a client, there’s a process that we go through and it’s clarity, intuition, priority and truth. Clarity is the first piece. And that was missing for me. And I think it’s missing for most people.

Darienne Mobley: 14:22 We understand a vision for an organization. We don’t necessarily spend the time to do a vision for our lives. So I think there’s this Saturday afternoon, lock yourself in your bedroom and really just start writing. And I have some thought starters. If anybody wants to just email me at some point and I am happy to send them. Just start you thinking about what is it that that’s right. You know, what’s working and what are the pieces that are not working? What do I really want? And the next one to three years, do I want to, yeah, do I want a new job promotion? Do I want to spend more time with my kids? Where, where is my focus and priority? You know, when I work with particularly tourism professionals, I say 50% of your crazy in your life is outside of your control. Interruptions. Meetings, demands, you know, craziness.

Darienne Mobley: 15:18 Um, something goes crisis. Something goes wrong. 50% is you. 50% is not having the guts to say, no, I can’t take on another project. This border. 50% is no saying I can’t be [inaudible]. I can’t help the students this year in my child’s class. I’m so sorry because we just can’t keep adding on. And I think that is also one of the things that I help clients get to is the awareness [inaudible]. It’s not all out of my control. I’m controlling a part of this cause you can only change, you know, you can only change your part, you can only change your piece. So being, becoming aware of that I think is really important. But the clarity piece is the first step. What do I really want? And it’s not complicated. It’s just like a paragraph.

Nicole Mahoney: 16:08 Absolutely. And I’ll make sure that your a email and we’ll share that at the end of the show, but we’ll have it in the show notes as well. So our listeners can take you up on that. I couldn’t write quick enough. So you said it, it was clarity, intuition,

Darienne Mobley: 16:21 intuition and intuition is that voice within priority is what is my focus today? What am I about today? You know, we walk in and we start on email and we start in on meetings and we never, you know, usually we don’t stop and say what’s my MIT is what I call it. What is my most important thing I want to get done today? We spend all our time answering to everybody else in a lot of cases and then we leave. And the thing that keeps us up at night is that big project that MIT that we didn’t get done because we allowed everybody else to take up our time. So what is your focus? What is your priority? The fourth is truth. I don’t work with anybody that likes to have difficult conversations. Yeah. They’re necessary and they can move your life in your relationships forward. So learning to tell your truth, whatever that looks like, I think is vital.

Nicole Mahoney: 17:19 Okay. Absolutely. So it’s clarity, intuition, priority and truth and truth.

Darienne Mobley: 17:24 Those four pieces. And then you’ve got the best life you can live.

Nicole Mahoney: 17:28 Absolutely. And so we’ve touched on it. Um, you know, and, and this is, this is interesting and I, I’d, I’d like to hear your perspective on how, um, the personal and the professional impact and, and work together. And how does that flow where, you know, when you said flow, my head went to the flow between my personal and my life. And how that [inaudible]

Darienne Mobley: 17:51 yeah.

Nicole Mahoney: 17:53 Can you provide a little bit of, you know, insight into, you know, when you’re thinking about living your best life, it is more than just,

Darienne Mobley: 18:00 well, you solutely absolutely. You know, one of the things that I think we’ve been taught is that we do have to take care of everybody else before we take care of ourselves. Like if you’re, I believe that as that individually we have big rocks and these big rocks are spiritual life. Our health, if your health isn’t good, nothing works, your work doesn’t work, your life doesn’t work. Health is the most vital piece to me of self care. So, um, what are your big rocks, your friendships, your family, your spiritual life, your nutrition, your diet, and your exercise programs? What, what is those things that really sustain you and your life? And on a Sunday afternoon, what I think we all need to do is sit down and put some of our big rocks into our calendar, whatever. If it doesn’t get in our calendar, it won’t get done.

Darienne Mobley: 18:53 So if you have an extra class exercise class at four o’clock on Thursdays, put it in your calendar and make a commitment to yourself. Honor your commitment to yourself. If you haven’t had lunch with your, you know, children in a while where your husband or had a date night, those things all matter. But those are the things that we will put off. Um, the work stuff is going to get done. You know, I love, uh huh. Gotcha. So old. But Stephen Covey’s book, the seven habits of highly effective people. Chapter two is begin with the end in mind. And this sounds totally morbid, but thinking about that final day, who do you want to speak and what do you want them to say? And are you living your life for that to happen? And it’s not that my inbox was empty and my folders were so well organized. That’s not what matters. But if we don’t make time for what matters, we can get caught up. The work stuff will encroach on the personal if we don’t honor the personal.

Nicole Mahoney: 19:56 Yeah, absolutely. And I, I, I love that. Um, you know, that that nugget that you just shared about identifying those big rocks and then adding them to your calendar. Um, you know, I, I personally, he had a goal of wanting to exercise more often, couldn’t figure out how to fit it in, and I did slap those, know those times into the middle of my day.

Darienne Mobley: 20:17 Well, same, you’re leaving to work out in the middle of your day. What was the only time I could find it? I know, I know. And you know, I have a yoga class that I love on Monday morning at 10 o’clock, and I, I can do that. I work for myself. I can leave and go to a yoga class. But if any client says, can you meet Monday at 10? My instinct is to say yes because my yoga class is not as important as that client. But it is, you know, it is, it is to me. And if I do that class, I feel better all day long. I start my week off in a better way. All of that matters. But I am just as guilty of not honoring my commitments to myself. [inaudible] um, the piece that I think, which is the game changer is five minutes of quiet time.

Darienne Mobley: 21:05 If you, if you talk to leaders throughout hundreds of industries and some of the best top people in the world, they say, if I don’t spend a few minutes alone and quiet, my whole day is off. So it’s five minutes of quiet time and I’ll say, start off two times a week and set your alarm on your phone. If you’re afraid you’re gonna [inaudible] miss something. Um, [inaudible] ask yourself two questions. What do I need today and what is my focus today? And what you need today may be don’t forget the damn meal again, or don’t forget the cleaners or pick your kids up or take a nap. But what do I need today and what is my focus? And the focus is really that, what’s that big thing at work? Is it a difficult conversation? Is it a project I need to complete? Is that a meeting that I really need to go, well, where do I, where is my focus?

Darienne Mobley: 22:01 Because where you’re, um, where your focus is, your energy will follow. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. Um, that’s a, that’s so true. And so that kind of circles back to, um, you know, you talked about clarity being that very first step. And if you don’t have that clarity in that personal vision, then it’s hard to have that focus right now and your energy doesn’t know where, where to apply it, where to go. Yeah. And you know, there’s been all this research that the brain, God, the universe, whatever we want to assign. Oh credit too. When you say out loud what you want, your brain starts to figure out how to bring it to you. But when you are not clear, nobody knows what it is to help you get. Um, when I got clear and said I want to live by water, that wasn’t possible in my life.

Darienne Mobley: 22:52 I worked in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. There was a light when the water, um, and my husband worked full time. I worked, um, for the Louisiana travel promotion association. That what, that there was no option there, but I just knew that some way or there would be. And there was, and I ended up moving to ocean Springs, Mississippi and I live on the beach absolutely. On that Gulf coast. Yeah. I’m going to sippy Gulf coast. All right. Yeah, that’s a, that’s terrific. But, but I, I do appreciate that. So specifically when you say it out loud, is there a practice that you have or is it really just, is it verbalizing it or is it just having that written document? Either way. It will, it will manifest itself either way. I think it has more weight when you tell somebody and you have to choose who you and who you trust because you’re going to feel like this feels selfish or it feels too big, you know?

Darienne Mobley: 23:51 Cause what you don’t want to do is you don’t want to minimize your dream and say, Oh I can’t do that one, so let me downsize it. Oh that’s too big. I could never make that much money. So let me downsize that. Just put on paper what’s in your head and don’t try to, you know, censor it. But when you finalize it saying to somebody, this is what’s important to me and I just need to say it to somebody, I think it makes you accountable and it puts it out into the universe. Yeah. Um, and that accountability is so, uh, so important. If you’re really going to achieve something, I think that’s a really great point. Um, that, uh, you know, now I’ve told someone, so now I’m going to really put my energy towards it to make sure it comes through to fruition. Absolutely.

Darienne Mobley: 24:36 Yeah. So Darian, I want to, um, switch gears just slightly. This all still ties together, but one of the things that we’ve been exploring on this show, uh, this year in particular is how tourism professional’s roles are expanding and they’re being looked at more as leaders within their own community. Um, you know, I used to think of a tourism in my own community as like the stepchild, right? It’s nice to show off, but then other than other times are going to push them, push them aside. But I think more and more they’re being leaned on, um, to help solve community-wide challenges, you know, might be economic development, workforce development or, or all type. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And so I’m wondering, is there being tapped more to be these types of leaders, so not just elite leader within their own industry, um, they’re really being asked to step up.

Darienne Mobley: 25:27 Do you have some strategies, uh, leadership strategies that, you know, um, tourism professionals should be thinking about as they’re kind of waiting into this type of a new frontier, if you will? Yeah. Well, you know, I think it is law. It has long been overdue and I have been around tourism long enough that I have watched that exact change. [inaudible] you know, as a friend of mine says, if you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu, so you want to be on, on as many community wide. Um, organizations that are, you know, that coexist with tourism. That makes sense for you. Not just every single organization in your community, but being involved at the chamber level and economic development level, we are economic development. And so being at that table make sense. But it didn’t 15 years ago. So there has been a huge shift and you know, I can remember being in my thirties and forties and reading all the books about leadership so I could act like a leader, but I was really scared to death underneath that somebody was going to figure out that I didn’t know what I was doing and they were going to come in that day and say, you’re a fraud.

Darienne Mobley: 26:37 So I wasn’t very [inaudible], but I [inaudible] I knew how to it. So I think leadership is this inside out. When you’re clear about what’s important to you, what your values are, you just show up differently. You just show up differently. You walk in the room with an awareness that I belong. I think that’s where, whether it’s a woman thing or a or not, um, there’s been this thing of, well, we’re not as important as the economic development table, which tended to be men in tourism at that point. Even had more women as DMO directors. So we somehow don’t fit there, but we do fit there. I also think women leaders particularly, and I know that’s not all this audience is, but women leaders need to step into their feminine traits. We are best when we are operating as women with compassion and uh, we have an ability to build a team. We have an ability to the, um, conscious of how everybody’s feeling. We’re much more consensus builders and those are all traits that are needed right now. But we were somehow taught or I was when I was in my twenties that those traits were weak and I needed to be more assertive and strong. And yet I was never, I wasn’t good at that part. So step into what you’re best at and also give yourself permission that you belong at the table.

Nicole Mahoney: 28:06 Yeah. Um, you know, you’ve, you’ve mentioned this a couple of different ways in this conversation about this whole idea of, you know, feeling like you’re, you don’t belong somewhere or that people are going to find out that you really shouldn’t be there. And yeah, and I, I like to call that or where I’ve, I’ve heard that before term does the imposter syndrome. I find myself doing it as well, where all of a sudden you’re like, Oh, I’m not, you know, I’m not this or I’m not that. So I really shouldn’t be there feeling like you’re the imposter and reminding them myself that everyone else pretty much feels the same way after that alone.

Darienne Mobley: 28:47 You know, I used to think that I was the only one with this voice that said, I’m not good enough. [inaudible] um, everybody’s got it. Everybody’s got a voice that says something. It may say, I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough, or I’m not this enough or that enough. But we all have that voice. And I think where your wisdom comes in is in learning to question the voice. Is that really true? And if you can say, no, it’s not true. You know, for me at this point in my life, I can say no, it’s not true that I’m not good enough. But in my twenties and thirties at screamed at me now it’s just kind of this whisper that still pokes its head every now and then. But I don’t have to pay attention to that. So I think figuring out what that voice is for you, what is it saying?

Darienne Mobley: 29:36 Questioning it. Is that true for me? Is it really true that I’m not smart or this enough? Um, [inaudible] and probably the answer is no, then you’re able to override the voice and live a little bit more authentically. [inaudible]. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. And you’re right, it’s the, you know, I’m not enough. Whatever it might be. Yeah. That really can get in your way, um, and, and stop you from moving forward, which I think is such an important point. Okay. Um, so Darien, I knew this would be a really great conversation and you’ve shared so many insights already. Um, I’m wondering, um, if you can share with our listeners, um, if they’re thinking about trying to find a coach, um, you know, or to be able to work with a coach, what are some of the things they should be thinking about as they’re kind of exploring, um, you know, maybe doing a little bit of this type of development work themselves?

Darienne Mobley: 30:33 Well, there are a couple of things. One, I think you want to find somebody that’s certified cause they’re in coaching. There really are no regulations. I could just have put coach behind my name and kept going. I chose to do a year long study program to make sure that I knew what I was doing. And I want you to find somebody who is certified, um, and get them to tell you what that is. But the most important thing you’re looking for is somebody that will do a strategy call with you or a consultation call and you just figure out if it’s the right connection. I’m not right for everybody and not everybody’s right for me. If I don’t, if you’re on that call and you don’t feel comfortable that they are listening to you, hearing you, um, that you feel some connection to this person, it’s not the right fit.

Darienne Mobley: 31:25 It doesn’t mean coaching isn’t right. It just means that coaches at. Right. Absolutely. And, and as, um, you know, as you bring on your own clients, do you have any [inaudible] words of advice in terms of how one might approach coaching? Cause I, I know it’s a bit of a mindset too on the person who’s coming to see you as to how much work a can actually be accomplished. Well, what comes to mind for me is that you don’t even, you know, I think for a lot of people they say, well, what would I say on a consultation call or I don’t know what my issues are. I don’t even know what I would talk about. I think that if you feel a little stuck in your life, you don’t even know how. You don’t have to know what that is yet. That’s what coaches help you do.

Darienne Mobley: 32:13 Coaches do not give you answers. They do not get right at right you out of formula for success. They ask really powerful questions and they listen intently to everything you say and they help you get to your best life, whatever the next step is. What I love about coaching is it’s very forward action oriented, like what are you going to do next? What’s your next step and may say in the first couple of months this just feels like baby steps. It is. It’s tons of baby steps and you look back a year later and go, Oh my God, I was just talking to a client this morning that I’ve worked with for about a year and she said, you know, I didn’t think any of this stuff. I didn’t, I couldn’t really put it all together. And a year later, I can’t tell you the changes that I have made in my life that just felt like make that phone call, have that conversation, do this better, try this, clean out the clutter in your closet. I mean, they all feel like [inaudible] little steps, but they are the things that are in the way of you getting to what is really important to you. So I think I just gave you a rambling answer to your rambling question.

Nicole Mahoney: 33:25 Yes. But it was perfect now and, and I like your, you’re a differentiation in terms of, you know, when you think about coaching that it’s forward action oriented and it’s not therapy.

Darienne Mobley: 33:36 One of the best definitions I heard is that therapy, which is extremely valuable for people. Therapy is, you know, why am I doing this? Why do I act this way? Why do I feel this way? What’s in my background that has affected me? Coaching is what do you want? What’s in the way of that and what are we going to do about it? And then I hold you accountable. So the next call is, did you do that? Did you go walk three times last week or did you, you know, whatever, whatever it is, I hold you accountable to that and we make the next step, the next plan.

Nicole Mahoney: 34:10 Yeah, absolutely. I think that’s fantastic. Well, dairy and I knew this would be a great conversation and that, and I’m sure our listeners got a lot a lot out of it. Um, before we say goodbye, I want to give you an opportunity to talk a little bit more,

Darienne Mobley: 34:24 um, about your business and how you work with clients. And then you can, if you want to, um, give us

Nicole Mahoney: 34:30 your email address so they know how to reach out to you to get those conversations starters for their vision, that would be great.

Darienne Mobley: 34:36 Okay. Um, well first of all, the email is D Mobley at [inaudible] ink.com and Darien is D a R I E N N E inc com. My website is Darien eight.com. Okay. And um, I work with clients in a variety of ways. So I have executive coaching one on one is the most powerful way to make change. I also do the signature program that I came up with called women’s leadership Roundtable. I’ll take eight women for six months and we delve deep into all of the kind of pieces of this conversation that you and I have had. And it’s primarily tourism women in the tourism industry. Ah, it’s very successful and very powerful. Next is, um, vert. I have a virtual of course, which you take online and you get some group coaching with me. It’s called doing what matters and it helps you go through the clarity, intuition, priority and truths on your own with some support from me.

Darienne Mobley: 35:41 But it is the easy way to put your toe in the water from an investment standpoint. And I don’t know if I like this, but let me, it intrigues me. It’s a great way to get started. All of that is our services that are listed on my website. Um, and I do lots and lots of strategy calls and I am not a big sales person. Um, I don’t like hard sales. I don’t like to be fit. I don’t like to feel that way. So I don’t like to make other people feel that way. So we’re either a good fit or we’re not. This is either a good time for you or not, so I’m always not attached to the outcome of a strategy call. What if I’m able to help you in that call and give you some new awareness or insight? That’s great. And if it moves into business, that’s even better.

Nicole Mahoney: 36:27 Fantastic. Well thank you very much for, for sharing those different opportunities. Yeah, and uh, this has been a great conversation and I appreciate you sharing your time and your expertise with us and we’ll look forward to staying connected.

Darienne Mobley: 36:40 Okay. Thanks a lot, Nicole. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 36:43 It’s time to hit the road again. Visit destination on the left.com during your travels for more podcasts, show notes and fresh ideas.

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